| | so it's been fooreverrr... well i started off this summer being sick.. i got the flu and i quit summer school cuz too many days absent.. missing one day is like missing 1 week in normal school. so no way i can make that up.
i was dead again. just like a few years ago.. gosh i really don't know whats wrong with my mind or the meds the stupid doctors always give me with their stupid side effects. it's really strange.. how my mind worked.
i couldnt think properly watsoever. i'd predict everything and theyd be right and i'd be surprised or osmething. its so freakishly weird. and it's a really weird and empty feeling. its so impossible to explain i dont even know. anything that happens i wouldnt react to it at all. like how my brother came back. i was just like oh cool. and really emotionless. fjewapfaejw its so weird. and it bothers the heck out of me.
well i'm all better now and stuff but just during that whole time i just acted so weirdly. one day in drivers ed i got "sent home" cuz i didnt bring a notebook and the teacher scolded me and i just sat throuhg it. and like i listened but it like literally went in the ear and out the other. and during that time i was thinking "is this really happening? im about to get kicked out cuz i didnt bring a notebook... okay..." and if i were *normal* i would be like freaking out and reacting like wtheck? this is stupid or something but i just accepted it so easily and walked out of class. and told my mom knowing she'd get mad and stuff but not caring
all i would think about is sleeping. i want to sleep i want to sleep and all i did for 2? weeks was sleep. i would go home and sleep for like forever. and my mind was just so messed up.
yeah.. i'm definitely not explaining it correctly at all. i just cant put them into words
i'm so glad i'm back to normal. but its different this time. my mind gradually began to function better. there were times where i thought normally and times where i didnt' and it was just really weird. but last time i snapped back to normal INSTANTLY and everything hit me all the sudden.. and it was just INSANE. i'm so lucky this is during the summer because if this happened at school.. omg i would have F's in all my classes cuz i couldnt' pay attention, function properly, nor act normally.
the mind is just so complicatedd! i really want to find out why this happens to me whenever i take weird meds or whenever i get REALLY sick. i get more mentally sick than physically sick.
this is exactly why i want to be a psychologist/psychiatrist or at least study it.
okay so no more summer school (its finally hit me. and its been over 2 weeks)
drivers ed tomorrow 2 hours early to make up the day i got "kicked out"
testmasters...
ugh test masters is so boringgg and i still dont have the book -_- apparently i was absent the day they gave it to us. cuz i was sick. i definitely dont remember that
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| | Posted 6/22/2009 12:32 AM - 20 Views - 6 eProps - 4 comments
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